Empty, Lonely (and Money Can’t Buy Happiness)

It doesn’t feel like that 2023 will end soon and time is running fast. Just experienced life this year which is full of lessons, ups and downs, and endless life stories. It seemed, there was no one that could be relied on by humans other than himself. This year, I started to organize my life and myself, and I felt one thing that became a factor of emptiness in life. The perception that: Money cannot buy (complete) happiness.

Perhaps, there have been many stories that most people have heard that :
“it is better to cry on the alphard than laugh on the bus. It’s better to be tortured in a helicopter than laughing in a motorbike.”

A comparison that shows that the gap between happiness and gratitude is only governed by wealth. But, how much money should be pursued so that you feel completely happy and grateful?

A test in my life that I once said was: “the important thing is to have a lot of money, I don’t care about anything. I can do anything”. The test of unintentional words becomes a self-reflection of this life that is full of tests. Reflecting that in the previous year, every day was full of laughter. In this year, all things can be bought, all places can be visited, but there is still a feeling of emptiness, fear and anxiety of life. The feeling of being alone and empty, even though it turns out that there are so many friends passing by.

Money, doesn’t mean anything. Money can buy anything, anything, anywhere and even anyone. However, there is a feeling of wholeness and fullness that money cannot buy. Peace of life and pride.

How many still feel lacking, even though they are already among the richest people? How many still feel insecure even though they are already some of the prettiest?

Yes, that’s a perspective on life, which often changes due to changing life problems.

Right now, I’m in a bad environment, there’s no support, I feel like an invisible ghost. There is no sincere moral support, everything is only transactional. Actually it is a natural relationship. However, flashback to the previous year, I feel that I was happier when I was in the old environment. We can all laugh at a little joke. We don’t have to be afraid that our front friends will kill us from behind, because that doesn’t happen. There is no feeling of anxiety, fear of rejection, or trying to be someone else in order to get compliments. Genuine is what I feel from the environment around me.

Apparently, life is fun and feels full when a series of fun moments are put together to become precious memories. Money has nothing to do with true feelings of fullness, security, and happiness. Sometimes, all it takes in life is to laugh and joke with friends, eat the same menu as someone you love, or share what happened today.

I often feel confused now, even though I can afford to buy a cup of coffee and eat the most expensive ramen menu. However, I was sad when I enjoyed it alone. It feels so lonely.

I started to learn many things that life is not about money. Money can’t make me feel safe. I miss the people who still want to support me. However, right now the test of my life is among people who are jealous and unhappy. Do I have to get out of the bondage of a toxic environment, or stay? I’m also looking for the best answer.

Hopefully I can feel happy again like before. Being an individualist is nothing to be proud of. It’s no fun spending your life alone. What is bought will not be able to make you happy. I want to go back to the pleasant environment I used to be in, hopefully I can get it back.