You Deserve Better, Bel
(Notes to myself on 26)
Life is not always smooth, sometimes there are shocks that make us learn to understand new things, so that maybe we can get to know ourselves better.
Lately, I don’t even know myself. Believe me, it takes a lot of energy for me to stay alive and function socially. I go about my days feeling anxious and sometimes have a sharp headache. I also felt like I had lost my self-worth with prolonged feelings of insecurity. What do I live for? What are my dreams and future? I don’t know. I forgot how to dream.
If asked, for me life is just passing the days.
I may realize that failure is a story, but in fact it’s not. I need good relationships with other people and respect for my existence. Maybe only with money I think everything will run smoothly, but I forget that I am a human who needs good relationships with other people.
I’ve often been told that I deserve better.
In the end, there are decisions that I make only because of one thing: I love myself. I want to go back and have time to get to know my own potential, try lots of new things, accept new things so that I can love myself better.
Actually, I’m already in the depression stage, because my life is too stagnant. I don’t learn new things and do things that have a good impact. I don’t have the energy to live, let alone to give something to other people. Because maybe I’ll never be trusted to do anything more.
In the end, I vowed to recover from this feeling of helplessness. I felt I had to get up and give things that made me at least know myself.
I want to move forward, because the days keep changing.
With this I will start to write what I do every day and provide updates, maybe anyone can see that everyone deserves to be loved.
